The WIT Network

How Men Can Be Allies for Women in the Workplace

How Men Can Be Allies for Women in the Workplace: A Guide to Meaningful Action

Welcome to a conversation that is long overdue but never too late to start. As a women-led network, we recognize the power of collective action in dismantling systemic barriers. While our focus is on empowering women, we understand that true progress can only be achieved when everyone is part of the solution. Drawing on an illuminating conversation between The WIT Network CEO, Christine Bongard, and Tom Harshbarger, a Global Channel Leader with Red Sift, we have put together a guide for men who want to be allies to women in the workplace. It's not a checklist or a destination, but a journey—a continuous process of learning, unlearning, and taking meaningful action.

The Phases of Allyship

Before diving into steps you can take to promote greater diversity and equity in the workplace, it's crucial to take a moment to assess where you are in your allyship journey. There's no shame in acknowledging your current stage; it's not a matter of good or bad, but simply a data point. Being honest about where you are allows you to identify the most impactful steps you can take to move forward. Remember, the goal is incremental change, and every step counts.

1. Unconscious Bias: Recognizing unconscious biases and privileges is the first step. Once you're aware, you have a responsibility to act.

2. Silent Observer: Recognizing bias, exclusion, unfair treatment, but not taking steps to confront it. Wow there’s a lot of bad stuff going on, but I’m not actively contributing to it; since I’m not part of the problem, I don’t need to be part of the solution.

3. Passive Proponent: Recognizing and valuing the unique merits and benefits of female leadership as captured in research; beginning to recognize active role.

4. Participant: Speaking up against bias in small circles and engaging in 1:1 allyship, but not making your voice heard in larger forums.

5. Challenger & Active Learner: Embracing your role and responsibility as a man and woman in the workforce to actively listen to women, continue to learn, and continue to call out injustice and bias in the workplace. Men in higher levels and influence have a bigger role to play.

6. Aspiration: The ultimate goal is to be a true champion and ally for women with emphasis on women of color who experience even more microaggressions and discriminatory behavior.

It’s important to note that we can fall anywhere on the scale on any given day. There is no certification in allyship, only progress. However, once you know generally where you stand as an ally, the next step is action.

Taking the next step in allyship

The importance of nurturing a diverse workforce is well-established, with studies from Harvard, McKinsey, and Gartner confirming its benefits in creativity, efficiency, and profitability. The real challenge lies in the "how" – particularly for men striving to be allies. Embracing discomfort and sharing experiences openly can serve as a catalyst for meaningful dialogue and collective learning, creating a ripple effect of change throughout an organization.

To be an effective ally, focus on three key steps: Listening and Learning, Taking Action, and Committing to the Journey, each offering actionable insights for navigating the complexities of allyship.

1.      Learn to Listen

Active listening is a cornerstone of allyship. This involves more than just hearing words, it’s about deeply understanding the experiences and challenges that women encounter both in the workplace and at home.

  • Active listening: Resist listening to formulate a response; instead, listen to truly understand.
  • Personal interactions: Engage in open, vulnerable conversations with colleagues. Invite them to share their stories and experiences with bias, which not only enriches your perspective but also makes women feel seen and heard.
  • Beyond the workplace: Recognize that allyship extends to the domestic sphere. Reframe household responsibilities as family work and take on a proportionate share; this will alleviate stress on women in your household. Why are women called working mothers when fathers are not called working fathers?

2.    Take Action & Build Momentum

Taking the first step forward is crucial, and it's most effective when done with the support of others; don't try to do too much at once. Once that initial action is taken, focus on building momentum to sustain and amplify your efforts. Some places to start:

  • Recruit: If your organization lacks diversity, it's your responsibility to broaden your network and actively seek diverse candidates. Reach out to both junior and senior colleagues that don’t look like you and ask them to promote job openings. Also engage female-run and minority-run organizations to find qualified and diverse candidates.
  • Education: Promote learning resources and connect your employees to LinkedIn Learning, webinars, and networks like The WIT Network to foster a culture of continuous learning. Don't assume that seniority equates to emotional intelligence or an absence of bias.
  • Mentorship and sponsorship: One of the most impactful actions anyone can take is to start a mentorship or sponsorship relationship with a woman. Use your influence to give visibility to women who want to take the next step in their careers, not just in your immediate circle but across the organization. This is a two-way relationship: while you empower, you also learn about the unique perspectives, creativity, and challenges of people across genders and generations, enriching your own leadership skills.

3.    Commit to the Journey

Committing to the journey of allyship means being an active listener and a lifelong learner. Attend webinars, read extensively, and engage in dialogues that challenge your preconceptions. Finally, eliminate qualifiers when referring to your colleagues. They are not your "female" or "Asian" or "young" colleagues; they are simply your colleagues. This mindset shift is crucial for fostering an inclusive workplace.

  • Start learning: Read books, attend webinars, become an incredibly active listener, and seek out others with perspectives different than yours and make you uncomfortable.
  • Prepare for discomfort: Embrace discomfort as a learning opportunity, not a threat. Practice active listening to overcome defensive instincts and grow as an ally.  You can’t unsee it once you are educated and see the bias.
  • Eliminate qualifiers: Challenge biases, wage discrepancies, and any form of silencing you encounter. Ensure women coworkers get adequate airtime in meetings and are credited for their ideas.
  • Challenge resistance: Understand the dynamics of your organization. While HR departments are often the best advocates for diversity, they may not always have the loudest voice. Find ways to amplify these voices and be a catalyst for change. If your efforts to be an ally are met with resistance within your organization, it may be worth reconsidering how much you value being part of that environment.

Remember, allyship is not a destination but an ongoing journey, marked by incremental changes that cumulatively build a more inclusive and equitable work environment.  It’s about making a conscious choice to step out of your comfort zone, to be uncomfortable and respectfully make others uncomfortable for the greater good. It's about taking risks, taking responsibility, and most importantly, taking action. So, where are you on this journey? Make the choice to commit, and let's build a more inclusive future together.

Next steps for allies