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HER Story: Julie Lafleur shares how she found her

HER Story: Julie Lafleur shares how she found her way through burnout

The road to burnout

Julie began her career as an intern in the tech industry. A chronic high-achiever and people-pleaser, Julie found success and recognition in her work, including earning prestigious awards. However, Julie’s achievements came at a cost. Having deferred her own needs in favor of others for too long, Julie suffered a major burnout in 2018.

The still small voice telling her things weren’t right had been drowned out by the noise and rush of daily life. In her hurry to get through each day, Julie never had a moment to stop and realize that she had a choice in what she took on and what she didn’t.

The turning point

It was the intervention of two people from two different areas of her life that gave her the pause needed to take a step back. One was a colleague who recognized that Julie was not at her best and needed help.

Recognizing that something needed to change, Julie went back to the basics, rebuilding her habits around foundational needs: sleeping, focusing on her breathing, drinking water, eating well, moving her body, and getting into nature.

One breakthrough followed a session when her therapist asked her to define happiness. "I was using words like joy and contentment, but when he pressed me to define what it meant for me, I just started crying because I realized I didn't know."

For Julie, further reflection revealed that she yearned to feel peaceful and strong, and experience greater simplicity.

Finding a new path

With these goals as her guideposts, Julie began to make intentional trade-offs and incremental changes that promoted happiness.

For example, instead of always defaulting to yes, she paused to check in with what she actually wanted or needed. Realizing that taking on too much was causing her burn out, she now thinks to herself, If it’s not a heck yeah! - it’s a no!

She began a morning routine including getting up earlier than everyone else in order to meditate and journal. As these changes brought refreshing results, she began reinvesting time in her own interests, becoming more comfortable declining a dinner invite, or spending a quiet evening shooting hoops with her sons or deepening her understanding of energy medicine.

"I found that investing in my own joy started to naturally help me create and maintain boundaries, said Julie. I started taking the time to learn about things that I was interested in, and that would light me up. I would want to learn more which meant I had to say ‘no’ to other things or ask for help to get them done. I learned that it did not have to be all on me. That was freeing."

In this time, she discovered Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), also known as tapping. A combination of modern western psychology principles and ancient Chinese acupressure, tapping helps relieve stress by focusing on a negative emotion while tapping on specific points that send a calming signal to the brain, letting it know it’s safe to relax.

She also began practicing Reiki energy healing.

Slowly layering in these practices and techniques over the course of a few years brought a significant change in Julie’s life.

Having spent more time quieting her life, Julie says she has gotten to know herself. I know that I like to have some down time and build that into my schedule. She also knows that helping others find the same freedom is a priority. I am clear on how I want to feel and what I can do to feel that way. I make sure my schedule includes those things, she said.

Driving forward

Today, Julie views her burnout as "a gift that I'm truly thankful for because I am where I am now because of that."

As a speaker and Wellness Practitioner, Julie described her mission as helping people, primarily women, avoid and survive burnout using the tools and techniques that have been so transformational for her.

Perhaps one of the most inspiring takeaways from Julie's story is how putting herself first had a positive spillover effect on those around her. 

Her pre-teen and teen sons, for example, have witnessed the power of these techniques, implementing them into their own lives in the form of pre-game tapping routines before their hockey matches and meditation before bed. It’s opened the door for conversations on how to live intentionally, choosing the things that make them happy versus following the path dictated by the world.

This highlights another side of taking care of yourself. "If not for you, do it for the others in your life," said Julie. "Everyone influences other people and the next generation in some way, whether it's colleagues, kids, nieces and nephewsThe world has a lot to benefit from the world being more calm - it starts with you."

Three things to take away

When asked what she hopes women will take away from her story, three things stood out:

1.      Recognize you have a choice in how you feel – Invest time in writing and thinking about what you like to do. Only when you know  how you want to feel can you start making changes to get there.

2.      Remember that change happens incrementally – Calming routines and techniques as well as clarity on boundaries, begin small and evolve over time. It is enough to make one small change today.

3.      Choosing yourself benefits others – If it's difficult to prioritize yourself for yourself, do it for those around you who will benefit from  a healthier you. Everyone has influence.

Her final encouragement is this: "Burnout is real. If you feel like something is not right, you're right. Quiet your life down enough to hear that voice and invest time to determine what you need.

Resources for navigating burnout

Julie has been a speaker for The WIT Network and has resources to help you avoid or navigate burnout:

HERstory is The WIT Network’s series where we share interesting and inspiring career journeys of women in our community.  We welcome the opportunity to tell your story or someone you would like to nominate. Reach out to women@thewitnetwork.com if you have a great HERstory we should consider.